Dynamic Life Skills Inc. - Life skills for children including Self Estem - Social Skills

Take this BULLYING QUIZ:

BULLYING CAN:
a. Include name calling and spreading rumors, in addition to physical violence.
b. Have long lasting repercussions not only for victims but also for bullies and even innocent bystanders.
c. Begin as early as preschool
d. Cause victims to fear school or refuse to attend

The answer? You guessed it – all of the above. Bullying can take many forms, but all of them can have consequences for your child’s physical and mental health, as well as their success at school.

What is bullying?
Unfortunately, teasing is often part of growing up – almost every child experiences it. But it isn’t always as innocuous as it seems. Words can cause pain. Teasing becomes bullying when it becomes repetitive or when there is a conscious intent to hurt another. Bullying includes a range of behaviors

Victims of bullying can suffer from long term emotional and behavioral problems. Bullying can cause loneliness, depression, anxiety, lead to low self esteem and increased susceptibility to illness.

How to help
First, give your child space to talk. If they recount a bulling incident, listen, be empathetic. Say “you are sorry, that must be really painful” Then place the ball gently back in their court and ask “What do you think might help? If your child does not verbalize themselves well, try reading a story about teasing or using puppets. You may encourage them to move on by making new friends or joining a school club.

Once the door is opened
Role-playing is an excellent way for children to “practice” their responsiveness to bullying. Try to let them lead their own way in practice. Suggestions and responses should come from them when ever possible.

Intervention and Prevention
Parent do sometimes need to intervene when a child share that they are being bullied. However calling another parent directly can be tricky, even if they are a friend. Do not begin with an angry recounting of the child’ offenses. Set the stage for a collaborative approach by suggesting going to the playground or walking to school together to observe the interaction and jointly express disapproval for any unacceptable behavior. Try modeling the behavior that you expect from your child. Refrain from comments that ridicule people. Make sure that after school activities and play dates are supervised.

Developing skills
Researchers have found that victims of bullying who developed assertiveness skills experienced a reduction in bullying. When victims respond assertively, bullies are more likely to stop or find another less assertive victim. Improving social skills can decrease a victims chances of being bullied. Effective social skills training can help students develop relationships with peers, which may decrease the likelihood of them being a target in the future. Social skills can also help the bully learn new ways of interacting with others, in a more positive productive way.

The most effective framework I know is built on six core ethical values called:
the Six Pillars of Character
(Trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship).
So, if you want to be a person of character:

1. Always plan ahead.
There wasn't any rain in the forecast when Noah started building the ark.

2. Don't listen to your critics.
Listen instead to your heart, and then do whatever has to be done. The neighbors might have taunted when Noah was blocking their driveway-- but he had the last laugh as soon as the rain began falling!

3. Stay physically, mentally, spritually and emotionally fit.
You never know but when you're 600 years old, someone might come along out of the blue and ask you to do something REALLY big!

4. Don't seek to go it alone.
Always travel, at least, in pairs, because two heads are better than one.

5. Speed is not always an advantage.
The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails; and they all arrived safely on dry ground at the very same time.

6. Handle conflict with certainty.
If you can't fight or flee from adversity-- at least make certain you have an idea that can float in the battlefield of ideas!

7. Don't miss the boat!
Never forget this underlying truth: that ultimately when all is said and done, we're all in the same boat!

8. Be flexible in your thinking.
Remember that amateurs built the ark while professionals built the Titanic.

9. Remember that fear is nothing more than "False Evidence Appearing Real."
The woodpeckers on the INSIDE are often a bigger threat to your overall well being than the storms raging on the outside.

10. Remain faithful and optimistic.
No matter how bleak things look, if God is traveling with you, there's always going to be a rainbow of peace on the other side of the storm.

When my eyes first meet an image of me,
I take in the backwards picture I see.
Am I fat or thin, or tired or pale,
Dark circles, or pimples, strong, or too frail?

The critic within gets in her two cents,
Examines each feature, I've got no defense.
But then I step back, and remember myself,
I'm more than reflections of somebody else.

I soften my eyes and gaze deep within,
To the image I see in the mirror again.
Into the eyes of this girl that appears.
Her beautiful spirit a little more clear.

I reach beyond echoes of critical voices,
And remember, it's my life, and that I have choices.
How I see me is up to me now,
So I turn, and I sigh, and I take a new vow....

To look beyond pictures of high fashion girls,
See beauty in each woman's face in the world.
And the twinkle of soul that I see in their eyes
Is the same spark of a woman that I recognize
When my eyes first meet an image of me,
And I see the incredible girl that I see.

1. Draw a Diagram or Picture- You can do this when you need to see the information given in a problem to be able to solve it.

2. Make a Model or Act Out- You can do this when you need to see the data. Then you can watch how the solution is found.

3. Make an Organized List- You can do this to help you review the information in a problem. It will help you organize your thinking about it.

4. Make a Table or Graph- You can do this to organize information given in a problem. Tables can help you see relationships and patterns in data.

5. Look for a Pattern- You can do this to predict what comes next. If you can find the rule for a pattern, you can use it to solve the problem.

6. Predict and Test- You can do this when it is difficult to work out the answer to a problem. You can make a guess and then test it. If your guess is not correct, use that guess to make a better guess.

7. Use Logical Thinking- You can do this when you need to think about how the information you know fits together.

8. Work Backward- You can do this when you know the total but need to find a missing part. Start at the end and work back to find the answer.

9. Solve a Simpler Problem- You can do this when the numbers in a problem are very big. Change them to smaller numbers that are easier to work with. Decide how to solve the problem. Then solve the original problem the same way.

10. Write an Equation- You can do this when you need to find a missing amount to solve a problem.

This article was taken from Mathematics problem solving coach written by Doreen S. Nation, Shiela J. Siderman

1. Reach out. Don't always wait for someone else to make the first move. A simple "hi" and a smile go a long way. It may sound corny, but you'll be amazed at the response you'll receive when you extend a friendly greeting.

2. Get involved. Join clubs that interest you; take special classes inside or outside of school. Seek out neighborhood and community organizations and other opportunities to give service to others.

3. Show interest. Let people know that you are interested in them. Don't just talk about yourself; ask questions about them and their interests. Make this a habit and you'll have mastered the art of conversation.

4. Be a good listener. This means looking at people while they are talking to you and genuinely paying attention to what they are saying.

5. Risk telling people about yourself. When it feels right, let your interests and talents be known. For example, you love science fiction and you'd like to know others who feel the same way.

6. Don't be a show off. Not everyone you meet will share your interests and abilities. (on the other hand you shouldn't have to hide them- which you won't once you find people who like and appreciate you.)

7. Be honest. Tell the truth about yourself and your convictions. When asked for your opinion, be sincere. Friends appreciate forthrightness in each other. But...

8. When necessary, temper your honesty with diplomacy. The truth does not have to hurt. It is better to say "Your new haircut is interesting," than to exclaim "You actually paid for that?!"

9. Don't just use your friends as sounding boards for your problems and complaints. Include them in the good times, too.

10. Do your share of the work. That's right, work. Any relationship takes effort. Don't always depend on your friends to make the plans and carry the weight.

12. Learn to recognize the so-called friends you can do without. Check in with your values and be sure to do the thingss that you are comfortable with. Remember: Character is what you do and say when no one else is looking.

To do well on a test, you must have good knowledge of the information that is being tested. But you must also have a strategy for taking the test that allows you to show what you know. The DETER strategy can help you do your best on any test. Each letter in DETER reminds you what to do.

Read the test directions very carefully. Ask your teacher to explain anything about the test directions you do not understand. Only by following the directions can you achieve a good score on the test. If you do not follow the directions, you will not be able to demonstrate what you know.

Examine the entire test to see how much you have to do. Only by knowing the entire task can you break it down into parts that become manageable for you.

Once you have examined the entire test, decide how much time you will spend on each item. If there are different points for items, plan to spend the most time on the items that count for the most points. Planning your time is especially important for essay tests where you must avoid spending so much time on one item that you have little time left for other test items.

The second E in DETER reminds you to answer the items you find easiest first. If you get stuck on a difficult item that comes up early in the test, you may not get to answer items that test things that you know.

If you have planned your time correctly, you will have time to review your answers and make them as complete and accurate as possible. Also, make sure to review the test directions to be certain you have answered all items required.

Using the DETER strategy will help you do better on tests and get better grades!

Each goal you set should state WHAT you will do and WHEN you will accomplish it. Implied in each goal you set is your WILL (determination) to do it. For example, a goal for a research paper might be stated as follows: I will (your determination) finish gathering imformation for my research paper (what you will do) by February 20 (when you will accomplish it).

CHARACTERISTICS OF APPROPRIATE GOALS

Your goals should be:

1. within your skills and abilities.
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses will help you set goals you can accomplish.

2. realistic.
Setting a goal to learn the spelling of three new words a day is realistic. Trying to learn the spelling of fifty new words a day is not realistic.

3. flexible
Sometimes things will not go the way you anticipate and you may need to change your goal. This is very common when working with children and young adults. Stay flexible so when you realize a change is necessary you will be ready to make the changes.

4. measurable
It is important to be able to measure your progress toward a goal. It is especially imnportant to recognize when you have accomplished your goal and need to go no further. Failure to measure your progress toward a goal and recognize it's accomplishment will result in effort that is misdirected and wasted.

5. within your control
Other than when you are working as part of a group, accomplishment of your goal should not depend on other people. You can control what you do, but you have little or not control over what others do. You may do waht you have to do, but if others don't, you will not accomplish your goal.

Having good organizational skills is very important for your child’s success in school and in life. Some people are by nature more organized than others but anyone can adapt routines and habits of organization. All you need is practice and consistency. Below you will find a listof strategies that you can use to help your child get more organized!

Set one day a week as a “cleanup day.” On this day, have your child sort through book bags, notebooks, desk, locker, etc. Old papers and tests should be either thrown out or kept in a separate file at home.

Help your child get in the habit of using a calendar. With a calendar they can post assignments, tests, household chores and reminders. It is very helpful to make daily, weekly and monthly reminders and “to-do” lists. Have them cross completed items off the list once finished. This will give them a sense of accomplishment.

Before beginning a homework session, have your child number the assignments in the order in which they should be done. It is advised to not start with one that is too long or difficult. However, avoid saving the longest or hardest assignments for last. Assignments should also be numbered according to due date. Anything due the following day should be a higher priority.

Having a binder or 3 ring notebook helps your child keep track of papers. Use dividers to separate materials and notes by class or subject. Dividers can be color coded to help for visual organization. Each section should have papers to take notes and a folder to hold worksheets, notices, and other materials for each subject.

Your child should study and do homework in the same place every night. This place should be a quiet place with few distractions. It does not have to be a bedroom, but this place is highly recommended. A desk area in your child’s bedroom is a perfect quiet place for them to study and do homework.

Before going to bed, your child should pack their backpack with school work and books. Their clothes for the next day should be carefully laid out including shoes, socks and accessories. Having this done the night before, will help cut down on morning confusion.

It is helpful to break down large assignments into smaller more manageable tasks. By doing this, your child will feel less overwhelmed and more motivated to get started. By assigning the smaller tasks to daily “to-do” lists, your child will know where to get started when beginning a large assignment.

Try to establish a regular schedule for at home activities such as dinnertime and bedtime. This will help your child get into a pattern at home. It is also helpful to limit television watching and computer play to specific times during the day.

Keeping a large, wall-sized calendar for the household helps family members keep track of each other’s activities and avoid scheduling conflicts. It is important to list family commitments, extracurricular activities, days off from school and major events at home and in school. Also note due dates for your child’s big exams and projects, so that you can help them with reminders.

Procrastination is putting off or avoiding doing something that must be done. It is natural to procrastinate occasionally. However, excessive procrastination can cause anxiety and poor performance if the task is completed without sufficient time to do it well. Prioritizing tasks and planning ahead can help control excessive procrastination. Also, try to commit your child to completing a task once started and reward them whenever the task is completed.

It is recommended that you provide support while your child is learning to become more organized. Giving them gentle reminders about filling in calendar dates and keeping papers and materials organized could be very helpful. Help them set realistic goals of how they can get more organized. Most important, set a good example.

Regina A. Cornelio, Executive Director of Dynamic Life Skills (www.dynamiclifeskills.net) is a certified teacher and life-skills coach in Fairfield County, CT.